#17: just tonight

Like what the title reads, this entry shall solely be on what's happening right now.

Tonight, I read through a few people's blogs and every time I visit a new blog, I wonder: is life REALLY that bad for them? Why do I seem to have neglected so many of my friends' sad moments in life? Why do I seem to be enjoying life (not literally) while they sulk in misery? Why do I always pout over the smallest, tiniest and most little thing that is not even worth pouting? Why do I have to constantly remind myself that my life is horrible, my life is terrible, my life is worth nothing, my life is..........when there are others out there, whose lives are far worse than mine? Why am I failing as myself? Why oh why can't I see that my friend is suffering so much and there I am, doing nothing and being so annoying and a total nuisance to them?

Just hold on for a little second, and think: is life really that miserable for every one of us that we have to be so commentary on everything? Is life really that tough here in Singapore that we have to always remind ourselves to jump off the buildings? Is life really that meaningless to us that we have to STOP thinking about how the African kids are living their rightful lives? Do we really have to see that low of life, and think that maybe we shouldn't even be born for a start?

I don't know, I don't have any apparent answers for the above questions but if WE, people of a technologically-advanced, financially-stabled, medically-readied society with almost everything that is needed to operate our lives fully, are still not contented with OUR lives, does this mean that international beggars and people living in a less-developed country should just burn themselves to hell? No, obviously not.

Very true that we have all the rights to live the life that we want but considering that we are from countries that do not need to worry over things like, will there be rice for us tomorrow? Will there be water for me to drink tomorrow? Will I be able to live another day? Will I be able to see the next sunrise? Will I be able to go to school to study? Will I still be able to see my family when I come back later? Will I still be able to talk with my family 10 minutes later? All these simple things that we live by everyday, are things that the less fortunate ones experience but right now, even the MORE FORTUNATE ones are complaining about their daily lives.

Well, I do admit I ALWAYS complain even for the slightest thing, without even sparing a kind thought for the Africans (they are the only people I can think of when it comes to the less fortunate) who are, every second, fighting to live for another day while I can just go to school, study, see my friends, come home, study, sleep and ta-da, waking up to a brand new day without having to worry for anything.

I haven't really made any point but ah well, just saying.

#16: journey of wondrous flight

2 weeks ago was the last time we ever celebrate the success of the Secondary One Orientation Camp 2012. Those times we spent as a committee, all the fun, joy and laughter we had together, all the pains we had to take right down into our souls, and those wonderful memories we all shared, everything will be so pricelessly kept in my mind.

Day 1 (January 6 2012, Friday)

Let's start with me being late again. But this time I had a valid reason (I think). The entire camp didn't start off very well because there were quite many hiccups in the morning and Mdm Soh was really upset with us for some reasons and for that, I'd like to add that she was a total nuisance.

I honestly think she has ZERO rights to be unpleased with us because a) she was the one doing all the impromptu changes; b) she was also the one stirring all the hiccups; c) she was really being overly paranoid.

In conclusion, she should just remain in her office and drink a cup of tea with a tin of biscuits on her table.

As the day progressed, everything went almost back on track except for lunch which was terribly chaotic (that I have to admit) but then again, it wasn't ENTIRELY our fault. I mean really, do all teachers in our school have a grudge against our batch? Seriously if they do then they should just quit teaching and jump off the building because they are making life SO BLOODY HARD FOR US AND MIND THEM WE ARE ONLY 15-GOING-16 Y/O KIDS STILL IN THE VERY ROUGH PROCESS OF GROWING AND HOW COULD THEY MAKE LIFE SO MISERABLE FOR US

Either they are inhuman or they are just sickening peas.

Anyway whatever happened after lunch was relatively good, I'd say so +10 for us and -452348295724892985734 for the teachers. Screw them upside down inside out. If anyone of them is reading this: you suck balls.

Day 2 (January 7 2012, Saturday)

I am quite sad that my Saturday was gone like that (by that I mean waking up at 5am) BUT for the sake of the Secondary 1s and everyone else.......I will sacrifice.

Just kidding.

We managed to set up most of the things by 8am and I was freaking out because the last time I rose a flag was actually last year.

After morning assembly, we started the Mass Games (which started VERY badly) and I was running around the whole school finding groups to hand them their booklets which was e x t r e m e l y tiring. So I decided to wait by the bench outside the staff room for the groups to appear in front of me and that was when....................................the whole Weixiong's HOT! thing started and that was how I became his #1 fan. But he was a really really really nice guy :)

And I gotta say, Santhosh was so cute during the whole Orientation Camp. He was practically shadowing me wherever I go and I could always be like: "eh Santhosh, can you hel-" and he'd be like: "OH OK CAN!" So I'm very glad to have him as my partner.

There were many unpleasant things that happened in between (and I would LOVE to talk about but...) which was plain stupid. Stupid. Very stupid.

Campfire wasn't exactly a blast but I think the campers had sufficient fun and that was the whole point so yeah enough of the camp.

I had a terrible time recalling what happened 2 weeks ago.

So back to my current life:

I am hardly surviving even one day of school. There's like a HUGE change in my life that now, every time I'm in class, I always bring myself to sleep. And sleep. And more sleep. Everything is so dry and boring and everyday we have to sit through the vicious cycle of studying.

Then again, having said that, I am PROUD to say I have officially dropped Biology so now I am a proud Bio dropout. And while the students suffer the pain inflicted by Ms Tang (and under the negatively negative influence of "Your class is a very small class, a very privileged class"), I shall camp in the lab and enjoy the liberty I have given myself.

And to add on to my wonderful life (Gek I know you ARE reading this), I had PE with Pangyong last Friday and oh my holy macaroni cheese cake HE WAS SO CUTE HAHAHAHAHAHAHA but he is still yours, Gek, do not worry ;)

This week, we had a half-day (which was yesterday) to celebrate the faaaaaabulous 'O' Level results achieved by the previous batch of Sec 4s. I have no intention of giving a half-day to the next few batches of students.

So after school, we (Na and Lim) went to CWP for lunch and Lim came over to my house to collect an umbrella which I borrowed from Kua since very long ago and my mom thinks it's time that I return it to her because...................Chinese New Year is just around the small corner. Then we walked back to school to deliver that umbrella and 2 packets of Long John Silver's (that cost a bomb) and afterwards we (Lim and Kua) went to Tan's place to lepak and abuse her Instax.

Today was yet another boring day because 90 minutes of CHINESE was what kick-started my day. The school just reminded me of how splendid my life is. Did I mention that Mdm Shen changed both my and Tan's seats? Now we're like front-and-back and I honestly think Mdm Shen thinks that me and Tan are.......strangers and that is exactly why she separated the both of us from the rest but reunite us together. Strangely as it may sound, it is true. I can never concentrate in Chinese class ever again.

Tomorrow will be another half-day (2 half-days per week MY LIFE IS SERIOUSLY WONDERFUL) and here's to the long long long long CNY break I've been waiting for since last year.

PS: this long and well-written entry is dedicated most specially to dearest Gek who is always there for me – good or bad, I can always find her not more than 5 meters away from me ❤

#15: close my eyes

Hi everyone this space will be rather dead for quite sometime.

Till then, x

#14: is this all

So that was my first day of my last year in Riverside and apart from reuniting with all my 4/6 lovelies and catching a movie with the girls, the rest of the day was shit.

Let's start with morning. I didn't hit the snooze alarm as many times as I had predicted so just as I thought that THAT would set the day off well, I realized I was late for duty. I was supposed to be in school by 7am but I stepped out of the lift only at 7am SHARP.

I really think people around me should get used to me being late but that's one side of me that I hate too.

Anyway I managed to make it to school by 7.05am AND MY LEGS WERE ALMOST BREAKING like I overused the muscles or something. Then I started roaming about the school with a floor plan/layout of classrooms in my hand and let me just say this first: my duty was to guide the new kids to where their classes are but all of them looked like they were just taken out of prison or were kept in a very dark and secluded and deserted place that THEY DID NOT EVEN LOOK LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN.

Like seriously, their facial expressions were really of extreme cases:

Type A: "HELLO EVERYBODY I SHALL NOW DOMINATE THE SCHOOL WITH MY PRESENCE WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT."

Type B: "Um...uh...wher- oh no I'm s- AAAAAHHHHHH!"

Type C: "I think I look cool with my shirt buttoned all the way up and my socks pulled to just below my knee."

OK maybe I was exaggerating a little but some of them really looked like they belong to either of the types.

Then from 8am to 9.30am we just had boring talks from all the KP and I realized the VP particularly likes to walk along the Sec 4 classes. I mean shouldn't he be attending to the Sec 1 classes instead since the newbies being newbies are so fresh and have a trillion questions in their puny brain that's about to explode if they don't bombard anyone with it? I found it so hard to even turn around and talk to Jing. And the girl sitting beside me was a total disgust. TOTAL DISGUST.

Afterwards we went back to class and settled all the admin stuff and I am so glad to say after 2.5 years, I can finally rid the post of being a Class Chairperson. Not that I found being a Chairperson a burden but I'm quite ~sick~ of being one for another year so I found myself a new post which, to my friends, was a significant drop in grade, and that's being a Health Ambassador.

I don't even know why I volunteered myself to be that but I guess I just have to enjoy the life of eating healthily from now on.

After school, we (Tan Lim Jing) went to watch The Darkest Hour and it was really a faaaaaantastic show. Emile Hirsch is so hot and Max Minghella omgosh where in the world did they find such a cute guy *-*

Oh and from the way I see the Year Planner which was printed in our handbooks, 2012 seems to be a really boring year for us. And people around me just can't stop emphasizing that it's the 'O' Level year. Seriously, I still have a good 9+ months (WHICH IS THE PERIOD OF A PREGNANCY OK) before I officially start freaking out.

So right now, I will just start counting down to Graduation Day which is exactly 9 months and 7 days away.

#13: new beginning

Happy blessed New Year everyone! It's again a brand new year and everything has to start all over again and that's the thing I hate most whenever a new year begins. I don't really like January as well (I think it's the stupidest month of the year) because the Jan heat is always suffocating me to the brink of my head I feel like exploding. Besides that, I hate to see all my worksheets dated x/1/12. I mean that "1" seems so stupid and annoying.

Last night was truly enjoyable over at Gramma's place. Although my phone died on me at the very last few moments of 2011 (and the insanely congested network nationwide), but that aside, everything else was great. Like I bonded (I've been using this word too much lately) a lot with my cousins and damn most of them looked a heck lot more muscular than they were 13 months ago.

It was so fun talking to them about not everything but at least we did have a few common topics.

The whole fireworks thing at Causeway Point was just plain crap. It barely lasted for 5 minutes and they only shot the fireworks to the sky minutes AFTER 12am clocked in. And I didn't get to pull a popper like I always did previously and I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I'M AFRAID OF SPARKLERS. Spar-freaking-klers.

But who cares because I spent the very first second of 2012 with good people (except for some) :')

After everything was packed, my dad drove us home and we showered and my sister and me had some sisterly bonding from 2am+ to 5am WHICH WAS A FANTASTIC WAY TO KICK START MY 2012 HOLY MACARONI

Then this morning when I woke up the whole world was spinning around me. Actually it was just me and my inner brain doing the clumsy tricks.

The evil vicious study cycle is about to start soon in approx. 1 day x

Update:

I'm left with 3 more Physics papers and a whole stack of other shits but I still feel very accomplished tonight whoopeee