#12: we will survive

At last, the final day of 2011 is here and tomorrow will be a brand new year with a hell lot of things awaiting for everybody.

This year has been a fairly good one although there were quite a handful of unpleasant things but this is what life's about and those shit are inevitable – just gotta learn how to deal with it, cry over it and move on. This is life this is life this is life this is miserable life.

I remembered so clearly that every year, the FIRST thing on my New Year's resolutions list will be to study hard but it always end up like shit. And I honestly think shit is the only word that can describe all the negative things I could ever think of. So, to be a little more realistic and practical from tomorrow onward, I will set myself a LIFETIME (assurance) goal which is to do things I actually will be ABLE to do and not list a chunk of things that may or may not seem impossible – be it now or the future.

Have a blast tonight counting down to 2012 (PLEASE LET THE WORLD END IN A PEACEFUL WAY) every little one of us!

PS: A really big warm lovely incredible massive great and extremely from-the-bottom-of-my-heart THANK YOU TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON I'VE MET THIS YEAR THAT HAS PLAYED A SIGNIFICANTLY HUGE ROLE IN MY LIFE ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Update:

I hope countdown party @ Gramma's place tonight will be one that sends 2011 off very beautifully.

#11: last sunshine

To anyone reading this, I spent my second last day of 2011 very meaningfully and fruitfully together with Naj Prav Vincent (from ACSI) and KK (oh damn he is really a one-in-an-absolute-kind).

Today's course was pretty good – quality time spent with people I really love = +10000092341237637461238742130000 ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

HAPPY EVE OF NEW YEAR'S EVE!

#10: stretch over the bridge

This entry was supposed to be published 2 weeks ago but I was too lazy to finish what was left behind / recall what happened during Band camp so I kinda gave up and now I'm back at it again.

Band camp officially ended 2 weeks ago (which was 16 Dec) and to be very honest, I am so glad those days are now over. Not that I dislike band or the practices were hell or anything like that but this camp was exceptionally and mentally draining. And for those who had re-sits (like me and Zuying), our days were basically like this:

Breakfast > Band > Lunch > Band > Dinner > Band > Shower > STUDY while the others slept their heads off after a mega tiring day.

Honestly, I think this December camp was a slacker and more relaxing one compared to past years'.

Anyway like I said, I was quite relieved that our Rhapsody Night went pretty smoothly but it was lousy......imo.

And right now, I still have at least 16 Physics worksheets, 1 Chinese essay, 1 Chinese comprehension, Chem/EM/AM TYS and Chem e-learning to be completed in 4 days (minus New Year's Eve, that's 3) good luck x

PS: exactly 4 more months before I turn 16 I can't waaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiit

#9: a story of another time

MERRY LOVELY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!

Today was truly an eventful day spent with my family at Malaysia. We had so much bonding done I'm really grateful for this Christmas :') enjoy the last few minutes of the year's X'mas!

How nice of my dad to accompany us to Starbucks even though he doesn't take coffee

MADLY IN LOVE WITH EVERLAST AND ITS SHOES

The 4 mini log cakes (there's only 1 here btw) we bought from Malaysia to home

These novels are enough to keep me occupied for a period of time (which is until school starts)

Google definitely looks pretty today ;)

THE INGENIOUSLY BRILLIANT SIDE OF GOOGLE WHAT THE CHRISTHELL

#8: being alive

I honestly hope I can and will be able to survive this 4D3N band camp x

#7: only voice coming back

Here's an attempt to upload pictures to this space and that's something I haven't really done before:

Welcome to the Cycling Club ♡

These girls really made my life A FREAKING WHOLE LOT more wonderful :')

Top row L-R: Jiayin (Chong), Vianne (Vn), Annessa (Neh)

Bottom row L-R: Gekkhee (Gek), Jiajing (Jing), Rhynade (Rhy)

Failed winkers but who cares!!!! ;)

Gek has the lousiest taste for nail polishes

FINALLY a (quite) decent pic of Chong and speaking of which... HELLO CHONG IF YOU'RE READING THIS I HAVEN'T TAKEN A S I N G L E PIC WITH YOU BEFORE WHAT THE HELL

I am THIS sure that she can take down all the other qtpies in the entire world

Neh sitting like a boss at the back while I look extremely cute loljk

LOOK AT THAT LOSER SHE EVEN HAD TO USE HER HAND TO SEMI-CLOSE HER EYE

One of the best pic I ever have with Neh ;)

The Blood Moon that everyone was talking about. My dad and I had some bonding done while trying to snap pictures of it and quality time makes my life complete ;)

Although she can really be damn eccentric at times and she LOVES shooting vulgarities at me... I guess that's just her

Hello everybody if you have the time please do meet this wonderful person of mine who has been through all that shit that I had been through :')

The person on the left (Qianying) is someone who will embarrass herself in front of ANYBODY and the person on the right (Charmian) is someone has a really funny laughter and her cheeks are forever red no matter what time of the day it is

The one sitting on the extreme right is Yanxuan aka Lim who is from my standpoint a Love Expert. Do consult her if you ever need help ;)

I feel very blessed to have great friends around me :')

And here's another attempt to THANK all my wonderful friends, some of whom who will actually read this:

Annessa:

Hello girl! Although we've met since 2009 and we got kinda close then, we sort of drifted BUT here we are again, being friends for life! I am really very glad because though at times I'm really pms (got this from Vianne btw), you're still there for me and making sure I don't do stupid things like slitting my wrist or strangling myself to death or jumping off the building hahaha thank you for all the fun joy pain and laughter you've brought to my life - no amount of money could ever buy that! You have (and will continue to be) been a rrrrreeeeaaaaally awesome friend this year, really really really please don't ever doubt that otherwise I'll kill myself.

Anyway as the year comes to an end, I hope all our wonderful memories won't end (I don't know why but as I type this I'm secretly laughing) AND I REALLY LOVE YOU A LOT SO HERE'S A VIRTUAL FLYING KISS FOR YOU: SMOOOOOOOOOOCH :*

Gekkhee:

Do you even remember being my son? Anyway hello and like what happened between my and neh, we came together, drifted, and came SUPER together again omg I am seriously wondering exactly what would have happened if I didn't meet you......life would be so different like I would have long died in Bio class, and I would have one less camwhoring partner (not that I actually camwhore but yeah), and I definitely would have one less lovely friend who will always (assuming that you will) be there for me even if I fall off the world's longest escalator. I kinda think I owe you a lot because every time I'm down, you wouldn't fail to appear right beside me....and just sit there without speaking even a single word in case I eat you up or something BUT your presence do make a difference because at least I know someone actually cares for me (wooooohoooo a +1 to my life) and that I know I have someone to depend on if I slip on a banana skin.

No words can really describe how much I wanna thank you for spending your life with me / telling me some of your secrets and although you're closer to Vianne (and the rest SO SAD OMG -1 TO MY LIFE), I am still very glad to have a friend like you, always so caring, so loving, so camwhoring, so slow in talking (but there's an improvement) and so fun to be with SO HERE'S A VIRTUAL FLYING KISS FOR YOU: SMOOOOOOOCH :*

Jiajing:

Hello crazy woman!!!!! We have been friends since Secondary 1 and I think that's kinda lame hahaha ok just kidding. If I were to ever thank you for all the things you've done for and/or with me, that list will be longer than the diameter of this earth, really and I'm not even kidding. Remember the times we used to waste post-it notes like as if they were toilet papers and stick it on each other's diaries so that we can remember even the smallest thing that has happened? That's one of the bajillion things you've done to make me happy and JUST sitting beside me everyday in class makes me go crazy I don't even know why. Although you can be really irritating at times but your good deeds actually outran all your misdeeds so that's a +1 for you.

Honestly, I don't know where to begin, I don't even know how to PROPERLY thank you because really you have done so much for me from accompanying me to the toilet to cheering me up when I'm down to....making me feel extraordinarily loved. In fact, you can even qualify to be in my "Who to buy X'mas gift for?" list ;) anyway, I have zero idea how to list everything down here but please always remember that I will ALWAYS AND FOREVER love you like how I love Stitch and Teletubbies and my pillow and if anything ever happens in the future, please also know that I'll be there for you, even if it means I have to make snow in Singapore (because I can just go to Snow City) and here's a virtual slap for you: PIAAAAAAAK followed by a virtual flying kiss: SMOOOOOOOCH :*

Jiayin:

Just so you very know, we haven't taken a single couple picture before I really don't know why. Either we forgot or we just don't have the ~fate~ to do so but just so you very very know, you are the FIRST person I've ever met who has that positively strange ability that can actually change me from a sad to a happy person. I don't know how you do that but that's one thing I really love being around you. Just by looking at you dance The Boys by SNSD is enough to make my happiness level rise by a million.

Although you may be EXTREMELY annoying and paranoid at times, I really appreciate that because that kind of makes you special from the rest. You just have this thing that makes people wanna be with you (or maybe it's just me hahaha) even though you annoy the hell outta everyone. Still, you have been a really great and wonderful friend this year. No matter how much tears you've wasted on stupid things, please remember the Cycling Club (and most importantly ME) will always and for eternity be here for you to lie back on! So here's your hard-earned virtual flying kiss: SMOOOOOOCH :*

Rhynade:

I just realized that your Twitter name is one of the easiest among all of us.

Anyway, first thing I wanna thank you for is all the post-its you've stuck on my diary because those are the little things that make up a whole big part of my memory. Frankly speaking, I used to dislike you because you were too cute to be around with (correct me if I'm wrong) but not until this year did I find out how much of a must-have is it to have you as my best friend. We may be VERY different in size but we're still cool, right? ;) at times when you triggered your pms mode (Vianne just happened), it's really scary but...I still dare not talk to you because you'll just ignore and to save myself from such embarrassment I chose to just leave you alone BUT I WAS SECRETLY HOPING THAT YOU WOULD SMILE AGAIN BECAUSE YOU LOOK BETTER AND CUTER AND NOT TO FORGET JOZOER WHEN YOU SMILE (ok this piece of info is a jsyk). We may not have a lot in common but trust me, I honestly believe water is thicker than blood so here's a virtual flying kiss for you: SMOOOOOOCH :*

Vianne:

It really beats me WHY IN THE WORLD DO YOU ENJOY HURLING VULGARITIES AT ME even though I did zero wrong so I'm assuming I'm your vulgarity friend. Not like that kind of friend actually exists but I guess it does in your world. Putting all these stupid things aside, I've known you for 8 years and damn that's really LONG and last I remembered, you were still a nerdy little girl who hates me for eating a major part of your food. And for that, I publicly apologize. In return, I hope to eat more of your food because your food seem to be extra delicious.

Okay I was kidding about the "eating more of your food" part. Sometimes, I really wonder where your cuteness (not to mention pms) come from because you're the second person who actually has the power to turn me from a sulky gloomy person to a sunny blooming person. Not saying that the rest can't but just not that successive as compared to Chong and this woman. 8 years of partly-close friendship is nothing to be messed with and there's really a lot I have to thank you for (#1 being your food back when I was 8 years old) and that list would end up going over the edge of the universe and I know the universe is ∞ which means the list will NEVER EVER come to a stop. A toast to our vulgarish love for each other, here's a virtual flying kiss for you: SMOOOOOOCH :*

PS: Posts have been written in ALPHABETICAL order in case you didn't realize and the length of each post has NOTHING to do with the amount of love I have for you and each smooch obviously doesn't represent the amount of time I'd like to kiss you.

#6: get to see your face again

I woke up at 8am+ this morning and this makes me really cranky now I feel like doing something I haven't done before like…going back to sleep till forever.

Yesterday was a good day and extremely well-spent with my gang + some others from 3/6. I was supposed to be at Gek's house at 11am but when I realized I'd overslept, I just took my own sweet time since I was already late. Then I WALKED from my house to hers under the hot glaring sun and me wearing an orange shirt obviously wasn't of much help because halfway through the road to her house I was already sweating like a melting ice cube and her house was like parked in the middle of a maze. I had a lot of troubles cutting through blocks AND WHAT FREAKED ME MOST WAS WHEN I SAW A CAT EATING A DEAD RAT WHAT THE HOLY MONKEY THAT CAT LITERALLY STARED AT ME WITH HIS/HER SMALL BUT VERY CUNNING LOOK LIKE H/SHE WANTED TO GOBBLE ME DOWN TOO.

In my dictionary of words, I think that's considered quite an adventurous journey.

So when I reached Gek's, I just sat on the chair and stared at the TV while eating Pringles which was my breakfast and Gek was cooking Mac 'n' Cheese for all of us woohoo I love how loving we are when cheese is what we're talking about. I don't get how anyone can hate cheese as much as I hate the stupid gloriously glaring sun when it should be raining. And right now, it is still not raining and the weather outside must be horrible but I'm actually freezing here in my dad's office even with my jacket on. I actually think that the reason why I was born to a family with an office is because I can rip all their food collections without having to worry that one day they may face death-hunger or anything like that.

When I got there, they (Chong Neh Vn Rhy Jing / Gek was cooking) were watching Running Man and I had zero idea what the show was about even after spending like 1 hour+ trying to mentally explain everything to myself. Then we ate, played Taboo, and Chong and I pretended to be some top-world pianist. I was so close to destroying the entire piano but Chong's really good at it and SHE PLAYS BY EAR. I mean not being able to read the scores is a -1 but BEING ABLE to play BY EAR is a +100000 I think.

After all the junk music that was played by me, Jing and Chong left to get the food and cabbed to Pasir Ris while me, Rhy, Vn, Neh and Gek stayed a little longer to play Monopoly Deal then took the bus to Causeway Point to meet the rest of those who were going for the chalet then we took 168 to Tampines and got on a train to Pasir Ris and took 403 to HomeTeamNS. Along the way, a lot of things happened that we could all account them into a novel or something like… When we were finally able to take 403 to HTNS, Jing called and told us to buy some balloons and we were all like $*&#*(&@*@%*(&#$@#!!# so me, Rhy and Neh had to forgo our first bus ride and went back to White Sands to look for plastic bags because a pack of 100 bags is A LOT cheaper than a pack of 10 balloons.

Then we waited until forever for the next 403 to come but apparently, what came for almost every minute was bus 358 that leads to……………………nowhere.

(As I write this entry I am Monopoly Dealing with the loser aka my sister aka my in-family best friend)

After waiting for like a century bus 403 finally came and we happily boarded and even happily alighted only to realize that we alighted at the wrong stop. So we had to walk all the way to where our house was which was, in road terms, bloody far and not forgetting how menacing the sun was yesterday afternoon.

The whole process of going to Pasir Ris from Woodlands was KILLING so when I stepped into the house I almost crashed AND AS IRONIC AS I MAY SOUND AFTER THIS SENTENCE, me, Gek and Rhy went to rent some bikes for $12 and that includes the overnight fare.

Really, where in the world DO YOU FIND SUCH CHEAP RENTING OF BIKES OMG

Then we went riding and as tired as I already was, we rode for exactly an hour from one end of Pasir Ris to the other and back and that was when Rhy fell because the guy that was in front of her was a complete moron. According to Rhy, she shouted at that guy like a magnified loudspeaker but the guy still wouldn't shift his butt one inch away. So if he died, it wasn't technically OUR fault.

Anyway after we came back, part of the food we brought and bought was already cooked so I just camped inside the house with the air-con switched on and enjoyed my food with a free "mini-concert" put up by Chong and Vn and Rhy (basically they just sang a few songs and shuffled and danced and did some really poor and stupid acting ie: Chong acted like she was raped.) while the others continued cooking FOR THEMSELVES. Afterwards my dad came to pick me up and now I'm in his office doing nothing but AM and Physics.

P-FRICKEN-S: IT'S IAN SOMERHALDER'S BIRTHDAY TOMORROW OH MY LOVE THAT GUY SO MUCH

#5: screaming my name

IT'S DECEMBERRRRRRRR AND CHRISTMAS IS IN 21 DAYS HOLY SHIT WHAT MORE TO EXPECT BUT JOY ;)

On the very very very very extremely front note: I haven't been studying. I have said this so many times I feel like a broken record but I guess this is the best way to remind myself to study. That's not the WHOLE point because this (month) is my long-awaited and well-deserved (ok not exactly, considering the amount of not-even-close-to-1% hard work I'd put in for the past 11 months and the things I'd done that were not really that helpful.) break and honestly, I haven't been spending it well and productively. Talk about relaxation and comfort and everything else but not studies I still have to worry for the damn re-sits that I will be taking in about 2 weeks' time which is from my standpoint useless and so future-controlling. Seriously, screw the entire education system we have in Singapore. Or at least in MY school. Trust me, when it all comes down to that one word, my school (actually the Principal to be exact) freaks like as if an earthquake just struck. And that one powerful word—results—is the cause to all my sufferings.

Besides the crappy and really brain-damaging pains, I am still leading quite a normal life like a normal kid for every normal day. Except it's been raining for the past few days and I really love it when it rains. What more to do than lying in bed with the blanket covered over your body and having thousands of pillows surround you not forgetting all the stuffed animals AND THE TV AIRING YOUR FAVORITE SHOW on a cool 'n' chillin' day? Sadly this per-rain-fect plan did not come true.

Earlier this week (which was Monday) there was sectionals and it was damn unproductive. I think because the time planned was too early and I was still in my sleeping mode.

Then on Tuesday, I spent the day at home with my mom (she took a day off from work because my dad wasn't in Singapore. How COOL is that?) and we sort of spring-cleaned the entire house. Sometimes it's really nice to have my mom stay at home to do most of the chores. And halfway through I made a special trip down to school to pass ONE sponge to Qianying (and also to return the blazer I semi-borrowed) in an attire I'd say is the worst ever. My hair was in a huge mess (it was only a trip down to SCHOOL and which idiot would actually bother to tidy their hair and I wasn't expecting to see ANYONE I actually know of so I skipped the whole take-10 minutes-of-my-life-to-tidy-my-hair part) and my shirt was really crumpled. I simply pulled out the first shirt I reached for and I think my wardrobe did its own magic because the first shirt I took was kinda stuck in a pile of other shirts. Basically my closet IS in a mess. And I'm waiting for this day where my mom flares up and tidy that built-in hole for me. Till then I'll just survive with that mess that isn't really bothering me because half the time it's closed.

Then I plopped into my school shoes and walked to school and prayed for every living minute that it wouldn't rain. Not that I dislike the rain or anything but I absolutely do not wish to hand-wash AND dry a blazer that hasn't been to ANY laundry services in YEARS.

And the thing that I did not wish to happen happened. I SAW A GAZILLION OF FAMILIAR FACES IN SCHOOL I NEARLY BURIED MYSELF IN THE CONCRETE WALLS. But I still made a few rounds around school (by that I mean I even went into the General Office and climbed the stairs several times and this average-looking guy came to me and asked where's the dance studio I almost fainted because it was just right in front of him – kind of.)

On Wednesday, we (Gek, Neh and Jing) went to support Vn and Kua at their Singspiration concert @ SOTA. I can't say which school was the best because I'm not really a choir person but one thing for sure is the guest choir (shouldn't that mean "very outstanding"?) wasn't very good.

AND THE CONDUCTOR FOR ALL SCHOOLS ACTUALLY PROPOSED TO HIS GIRLFRIEND (NOW HIS FIANCÉE) OH MY GOD THAT SCENE WAS TOTALLY WHAT THE HELL WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD A MAN DO SUCH A DAMN MEMORABLY SWEET AND LOVELY AND ROMANTIC THING HOLY MACARONI

Then we had a free ride back to Woodlands.

On Thursday morning, I was abruptly awoken by Vn's text asking me what ingredients to buy for egg sandwiches. I swear I felt like killing myself in my sleep because I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING BUT I REALLY HAVEN'T MADE AN EGG SANDWICH IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

At first when she asked what to buy, I thought she was referring to MY BREAKFAST so I replied: "Big Breakfast???" then she gave me a "fuuuuuuu" AND I WAS LIKE WHAT?! Then I got the whole story. She was asking me whether do they have to buy the ingredients for the sandwich or not so I said yes because me not making any egg sandwiches before definitely means I do not have any sandwich-making ingredients.

THEN HER NEXT TEXT MADE ME REALIZE ACTUALLY ALL ALONG I HAD BEEN SLEEPING. THIS WAS HER REAL QUESTION:
WHAT DO WE NEED FOR AN EGG SANDWICH

As much as I'd love to think on her behalf, it was way too early to even get out of bed so I told her to google it and I think she really did. Maybe not because there were 4 others grocering with her.

So after spending about 1 hour looking for ingredients, they came over to my house and I swear half of what they bought was not any sandwich-making food. Most were junk food that we didn't finish so they ended up bringing the leftovers to Waterfront and had a picnic there.

This was their initial plan btw: making egg sandwiches at my place for their picnic at Waterfront.

Then we started making the sandwich with Queen of Lateness aka Jing still sleeping like an ass at home. Did I mention Vn even bought a FULL-SIZED WATERMELON?! So me and Gek took the chopper and chopped it into smaller pieces. We (Rhy, Neh, and Gek) had so much fun making the sandwiches that WHILE making we were eating so the end product was just a few pieces of bread.

PS: in any case you're wondering where the hell Vn went to, she was WAITING in the living room. And WAITING actually meant us serving her.

At 1pm Jing came over and Gek and Rhy started doing their nails and everyone else just watched them. After that, Rhy went to cook her cheese tofu (actually all she did was put them on the pan and wait for it to turn hot, that's all.) which we realized AFTER buying that it contained fish which means Gek couldn't eat them. Then they played Monopoly Deal and heated up the prata and after that they (Gek, Jing, Rhy, and Vn) took my camera and camwhored like crazy bitches.

PPS: Chong ditched us for something else we don't really know.

Because my mom was coming home so I packed everything for THEM and they left for Waterfront.

All in all, their "picnic @ Waterfront" plan didn't really work out but them almost wreaking havoc at my place could really make up for it.

Friday was a much simpler day because I just camped at home watching The Vampire Diaries Season 2 over and over again. The entire TVD crew is just brilliant.

Ok that's my week excluding Saturday which was just a dinner at Fairmont Singapore.

#4: i'm out on the edge

Ok so recently my life is filled with lots of "I couldn't possibly get over within one day" dramas, and first in the entire list of dramas is me wanting to drop Biology. It is not even a surprising thing to begin with so I went to tell one of the teachers that I am determined to drop Bio, her response was: "Okay, get your parents to write a letter and have it signed."

And I could have chopped every part of my body to swear that THAT WAS ALL SHE SAID BUT WHEN ANOTHER TEACHER CAME, HER RESPONSE CHANGED: "Why Jozoe, why? Why do you want to drop Bio?"

Let me clarify one very important thing: You, the hypocrite, were the one who told me RIGHT IN MY FACE that you DO NOT wish to teach half-hearted students (and that was indirectly referring to me) and therefore I have decided to drop that damn subject AND NOW YOU ARE ASKING ME WHY THE HELL AM I DROPPING BIO? DUDE WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND, SERIOUSLY? DO YOU WANT TO TEACH STUDENTS LIKE ME WHO IS HALF-INTERESTED (OR NOT EVEN INTERESTED) IN USELESS SUBJS LIKE BIO OR NOT? Please don't ever ask me why I kept changing my mind back then, because to clarify another thing, YOU were also the hypocritical one who kept making ME change my bloody mind. So for what I am in today, I owe it all to you. Because you are seriously a first-rate bitch.

That was what that has been annoying me for a few weeks and I am on the brink of exploding.

Putting those unpleasant things aside, the rest seems good except that I haven't been consistently studying for my re-sits. Oh my holy cow somebody just rip me apart please.

Anyway……

Monday:

Elaine and I went to watch You Are The Apple Of My Eye and it wasn't that good. Not as good as I'd expected but well, the male lead aka Ko Chen Tung's damn hot omgoodness why on earth will there be such a hot guy that I can't even marry lol but he's really hot and Ao Quan looked kinda…gay (hi Vianne if you're reading this please do not attempt to hate me or anything because Ao Quan still looks hot to you) in that movie. And I really would like to punch the director for not ending the show with Ko Ching Teng and Shen Chia Yi together omfg (!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

After the movie, we went to eat at McD's and I did something that was fricken embarrassing. You know it was written all over the internet that the curry sauce will no longer be available in McD's? I stupidly thought that was a fake so after getting my burger, I asked the woman on duty: "Do you have curry sauce?"

"…(mumbles)…"

"HUH?!"

Elaine: "curry sauces are out of stock."

"WHAT THE ARE YOU KIDDING ME OKAY LET'S GO."

I nearly fainted because having McD's without curry sauce is like baking a cake without baking powder hahahahahahaha so I settled for BBQ sauce which is, btw, something I don't really eat because it tastes like expired ketchup.

Then I went back home to do Physics (speaking of which, I've been neglecting my studies lately……………time to get some ass work done) and I managed to clear some MCQs ☺

Tuesday:

Went back to school for sectionals and it was productive. Then I met up with Qianying and Jiajing to have lunch at LJS and I think I wasn't in the real world at that moment because I did not get my nacho cheese and THAT IS A MUST but whatever. I ended up saving 60¢ hehehehe.

Wednesday:

Woke up at 11am and watched a few episodes of Pokémon: Black and White and I gotta say…….it was fantastic ;) but the new combination of Pokémon trainers is shit.

Anyway, I left the house at 1.45pm to go to school to prepare for the Prom Night (at Orchard Hotel) as ushers. The whole event was relatively good but the food wasn't as expected. Honestly, everyone looked kinda typical last night. Okay anyone reading this will probably want to kill me now xxxxx

Thursday:

Today has been an eventful day because I watched Breaking Dawn with Qianying, Charmian and Yanxuan. We took the train to AMK Hub and Qianying literally embarrassed herself. Anyway we got the 3pm tix and bought some food and went into the theater. And not long later, a couple came in and sat beside me and starting making out RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES AND I WAS LIKE WHAT THE HELL DO YOU TWO NOT HAVE BETTER PLACES TO MAKE OUT BUT RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME?!

I almost chocked on my chicken.

Yeah thank god they were sort of behaving themselves throughout the movie except that the guy was making unnecessary comments on every scene he saw.

And as much as I hate to break this to myself (and other anti-Bella Swan), Kristen Stewart looks gorgeous in Breaking Dawn compared to when she appeared in Twilight. And Robert Pattinson looks gayishly hot, like there's something not quite right on him and I think that's because his face was a little too squarish hahahahaha.

So overall, Breaking Dawn was good x

#3: sired to you

This may seem a little late but Happy November everyone! I haven't really got the chance to wish this here in this empty corner.

Anyway I am so so so so so so so relieved that the 'O' Level MT Paper is over. Next thing to worry about (and panic the shit out of myself) is the release of results. The paper we sat for wasn't exactly that difficult but…...who can say that the paper's easy so much that they're confident of getting an A? Ok definitely there are people (some geniuses) who have super mentality but whatever. All is over I can stop feeling so crazy just for this moment.

This week is the last week of band practices before we go off for a month-long break and come back again for a 4D3N camp in December. I don't know if life is good or not but I can never fail to remind myself of the re-sits also in December. As much as I'd like to bring myself to look forward to my favorite month (CHRISTMAS IS COMING EVERYONE YAHOOOOO) of the year, everything seems so difficult now – studying and having CCA in December is something I really would never think of. It's the Christmas season and while people living in the Western countries or even people who celebrate Christmas are preparing for this long-awaited occasion, I am here spending it lifelessly away.

On a very positive and bright and optimistic and happy note, I am gonna survive all this x

PS: ABOUT TO FAINT BECAUSE IAN SOMERHALDER AND PAUL WESLEY AND JOSEPH MORGAN (AND JOHNNY DEPP) ARE SO HOT I AM FAINTING I AM FAINTING

#2: take me out of here

I am so glad it's the holidays and that I wouldn't have to wake up at 6 freaking am everyday to go to school. That being said, there are still band practices 3x per week from 9am to 5pm (8 minus 1 hours of b a n d is something that's not exactly funny) so actually, it's nothing to be happy about but at the very least, I can wake up at like 8am or so.

I don't know why am I even updating this space after so long like......I'm gna document my life here forever.

Anyway, this year has past really fast, it feels like yesterday was just the beginning of the year. As much as my memory could track me back, here's what happened this year:

January:

• Start the life of a typical studious (ok this is a lie) 15 y/o kid
• Secondary 3 Adventure Camp @ Kota Tinggi (bonded a lot with 3/6 so it was worth it)
• In terms of what is called education (academically), it was relatively fine because we haven't really gone in-depth
• No major crisis.........yet

February:

• Chinese New Year was good because gramma didn't go overseas and the whole cousins-relatives bonding thingy was......neutral
• Because of Common Tests, I had to spend my CNY studying (oh my life) instead of collecting money and my results were still shit but on a brighter side, Mdm Tong gave us chocolates (it was recorded in my diary so yeah I could remember this part) to celebrate the festive season ;)
• This was when I started having feelings (uh huh) for subjects I never thought I'd have the slightest interest in like, Physics, Math, and maybe History. Credits to those teachers who've taught me this year.
• Learning Journey to RWS
• 7 Feb's Physics class was a memorable one (this was also recorded in my diary)
• MONTH OF VALENTINE'S DAY OOOOOOH
• I counted down to the March holidays (recorded in my diary too)

March:

• Disastrous earthquake and tsunami in eastern Japan that killed thousands of people, leaving many homeless to bear the cold and cruelty of nature like the explosion of the Fukushima nuclear plants and the radiation that affected so many people worldwide.
• Sports Carnival 2011 wasn't technically a success because of the r ~ a ~ i ~ n
• I (and the rest of the cohort) had my NRIC registration done in school (recorded in my diary as well)
• Start of the March holidays hallelujah
• SYF (band) camp from 12 – 14 March (recorded down too)
• End of school break and a new term began and right after that, I started counting down to the next big holiday.
• On March 25, Mdm Tong walked out of class (recorded in my diary)
• Watched I am Number Four on one of the days from 21/3 to 25/3 (recorded in my diary)
• Intensive band practices for the SYF

April:

• Did not successfully prank anyone on April Fools' day
• April 5 was our SYF and sad to say, we did not achieve our goal BUT we still love each other a friggin' lot :')
• Tornado outbreak in the Southern US
• Extra classes started (recorded)
• MY BIRRRRTHDAY WOOHOOOOHOO
• The entire world was praying for Japan (lovely country, really)

When I write you a Tone Poem, the ocean glows and our memories of friendship will last forever.

May:

• Spent my Labor Day holiday studying for MYEs
• Mid-Years started and I made my own anti-laptop/electronic gadgets (except mobile phones) campaign which obviously failed DUE TO the electronically and technologically advanced world we live in today
• On May 7, we polled for our next cabinet of ministers
• Rise of Yam Ah Mee, Returning Officer for the GE and PE 2011
• Sudden obsession over Johnny Depp

June:

• LONG-AWAITED HOLIDAYS
• OBS (13 – 17) @ Pulau Ubin (come to think of it, I haven't really seen anyone from Junko or Camp 2 Charlie except those studying in my school)
• 10 weeks of break was faaaantastic like I could finally sleep in like nobody's business wooooo
• I camped at home everyday I was free watching Moonlight Resonance

July:

• Another new term began (looking back, time really did fly past like a rocket)
• I recorded in my diary on the first day of school:

Dear Me,

Survive for another 10 suffering weeks of everything and everything will be O V E R!

Love, Me

• I nearly lost my Ugly Doll (and I turned sulky for kind of many hours)
• JULY 13: 'O' LEVEL CHINESE ORAL WAS FHJASDHIUXy#$(*#$u#*2JSFADFIS HORRID so obviously I screwed it. Or it screwed me, for that matter.
• My very first (and prolly last) OMMS presentation on The Pursuit of Happyness on July 18
• JULY 19: 'O' LEVEL CHINESE LISTENING COMPREHENSION WAS DSIOFJRUOI32U405-U34#u$*(%*&JKNVAV ANOTHER NIGHTMARE AND did I mention I nearly went into coma lol kill me someone k-i-l-l m-e
• On that eventful day dated July 19, I was soooooo close to getting a yellow form from Mdm Leow.
• Completion of the Harry Potter series

August:

• First day of August and I was made to stand for the entire Chem class (that is 45 minutes of MY LIFE)
• I got really annoyed by some people this month
• Singapore turning older each year is becoming more boring than ever except that this year, the theme song was pretty bearable compared to previous years' and Sharon Au resurfaced again after so many years of disappearance.
• CT2 started and my results were...........averagely good (to me)
• The 2011 London riots was so creepy it scared the shit outta me
• August 27: Presidential Election 2011
• August 30: Dr Tan Cheng Bock lost to Dr Tony Tan but then again, rise of Yam Ah Mee was a breakthrough.
• Tim Cook took over and became the CEO of Apple Inc.

September:

• That one-week break wasn't productive at all because according to my diary, I haven't done a single shit even though it was already Saturday and I was left with one more day before school starts for Term 4.
• Every day speaks a whole new world and it was horrible having to face and deal with different circumstances that I could probably collapse into.
• September 26: neutral feelings for Bio SPA (that being said, I think Bio is the only subject worth dropping hahahaha that sounded like a propaganda shit)
• I don't get how Sebastian Vettel top almost all F1 races this year and Hamilton got kicked to the very back wtf
• PREMIERE OF THE VAMPIRE DIARIES SEASON 3

October:

• This part of my life is called misery. It took me a very long time to get over sad killing horrible things. So sad I almost wanted to roll down a hill. And this part of my life is not over yet (and I very much wish it would).
• On October 5, one genius in the world died, that is, Steve Jobs.
• Start of EOYs (this was what made me twinge in sadness btw)
• On the morning of October 6, Vianne came to school, looked thru her timeline and fricken broke the news of the death of Jobs and I was like: "WHAAAAAT!!!!!!!!" and I had to sit for my Chinese paper later in the morning. This wasn't recorded in but I somehow remembered.
• Hardcore studying and more studying lasted for around 2 weeks and I almost died.
• Massive flood hits Bangkok (not over yet oh my holy cow)

November:

• SCHOOL. IS. OVER. But next year will be..........so predictable.
• November 10: 'O' Level Mother Tongue Written Paper (something I really haven't been looking forward to)

Ok that should be the major things that happened and will happen (applies to only the last bullet point) this year. Honestly, while typing this entry, I was referring to my diary like 3/4 of the time.

One thing I absolutely hate about this holiday is that I can't freaking slack. Study mode is turned on 24/7 because a) my written paper is less than a week away (in fact it's in 3 days' time) and b) I have to re-sit for my AM and Physics (and Bio that is still in the midst of consideration – drop or not, I still can't make up my mind but one thing for sure is that I will never, in my entire living life, do any bio-related because I just don't like (hate is too strong) Biology. So sometimes I'd question myself, why did I even opt to study it but all is too late to regret.) papers in December.

When it comes to academics, my school really is doomed for it. Firstly, my school (I think schools nationwide are prolly the same) cares so much for our studies, so much that on Healthy Breakfast day, they gave us a slice of honeydew (and sandwich and cupcake) and claimed that THAT was healthy. OK that is in someway ~healthy~ but they said it was those healthy-healthy kind. Anyway, when it comes to academics, they throw us with millions billions trillions zillions of papers and said those are good for us. Seriously, comparing our workload to our healthy-breakfast-load, the latter is not even 1/10 of the former.

Secondly, my school just suck at scheduling exam dates. They could put killer papers TOGETHER. I know that's what happens in the actual 'O' Level but at least, the people who planned the 'O' Level schedule have brains and wouldn't put EM P2 and Physics P2 to-get-her. Either my school is screwed or they are just not exam-smart. In any case, my school is still doomed. They came up with this new policy that students found not being able to cope with the subjects they're taking will be made to DROP that subject. Like they literally are forcing students to forsake their studies. And it was greatly emphasized that studies can path a good future for YOU. That is exactly the reason why we (actually only people who failed EOYs and who studied Sec 3 this year) have to re-sit for our papers. And it's obvious enough that if we fail our re-sits, we will be forced to drop that subject. Stupid policy. REALLY. Our future is no longer held in our hands but the school's. Oh, the irony.

Another thing is, Sec 2 (the 2011 cohort) students who are in bands 3 and 4 can ONLY take Combined Science (unless they appeal which is like....the school hardly cares about appeals to begin with). IS RIVERSIDE LIKE DOOMING OUR FUTURE FOR US!? I mean last year those in band 4 could take up Triple Science and now only students in bands 1 and 2 have the choice to opt for triple or double science? Funny how my school is progressing.

As much as I would like this holiday to be forever, I hope 2012 will be a good year but apparently no. That one thing in 2012 (not December 21) is already being a moron x

#1: always dying a little

We got back our results yesterday and mine was terrifying. Definitely not my first time failing any tests but this EOY really served its purpose - a wake up call (or more than that) for me. I have never, in 15 years, felt as depressed, as demoralizing, as sulky as I was yesterday. The results affected me really badly and I have zero idea why. Not that I didn't study, then again, who can I blame? No one but myself. Doesn't it stress you when the circle of friends around you are doing so well and there you are, struggling to even get a 50 (if that's even a pass) out of 100? Obviously I do.

Every time a friend cries over their results, you go over and tell them, "cheer up, it's okay that you did badly but there's always a second time. What matters most is that you've tried your best, and that you've done your best. What's done cannot be undone, so stop thinking about it." But if it really happens on you, will you still think that "it's okay that you did badly"? Yes, the comforting and all may help that friend to feel a little better but ultimately, that friend will still feel hopeless, helpless, useless, sad, depressed, negative and so on and that's because IT'S HAPPENING TO AND ON THEM, NOT YOU so of course, you wouldn't feel that terrible feeling as much as they did.

Yeah I don't even know what this post is turning into, guess my results really made me reflect a lot on what I've done.

Cheer up, move on, you've done your best, try harder the next time, it's not the end of the world yet.. All these are nothing but just plain shits. I mean srsly, which emoish person will read these and really cheer up, move on and think that it's not the end of the world yet? It's like a psychological trauma that will take a very long time to heal - completely.

Anyway today's the Promotion Day so right now the teachers should be in school, deciding whether to promote the students or not and right here I'm freaking the soul out with millions of what ifs going through in my head xx